Howard W. Campbell
The Autobiography Of An Inattentional Magician
Chapter 1 Awareness
To write an autobiography of Howard W. Campbell would be as
asinine as to read an autobiography of Howard W. Campbell, so we have that in
common. I was just reflecting on how
much of a cosmic schmuck I am for swiping brilliant sleights of mind and not
crediting my sources. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
I always imagined someone else volunteer their services
before my 2nd autobiography. Unfortunately, my self-appointed-biographer Liz Boswell
has shown no interest whatsoever in drafting a manuscript before I die, which
precludes my perspective on my methodologies, like the dialogue between
Buckminster Fuller and his biographer Applewhite in Cosmic Fishing. And so, I
am forced to take on the task myself, knowing such a memoir will be useful for
many of the others.
This ouroboros manuscript is a self-refinement delivery
mechanism. However, at times I feel distracted from what I had imagined was the
goal of my present theatrical play, The Three, a One-Act theatre of the mind
that makes the zeitgeist of our dominant modality irrelevant. When my brain
begins to reel from dehydration, I make an occasional cheese dip. I should be
drinking more water.
Doctors have agreed I am psychologically unemployable, and
so I receive SSDI. I’d like to prove them wrong, but I’m not willing to work in
QRC for ethical reasons. For the last two years, I have not been hired for any
of the 28 jobs for which I have applied. Perhaps employers sense in me a denial
of their values. That’s not my intention. I simply vibrate differently, and I
stand up for my civil rights. Employers and landlords have even said that they
physically fear me, yet I have zero history of violence, and no arrest record.
I begin my examination of the method. I repeatedly say that the tensegrity of
my work relies fundamentally on two basic principles: lovemarks and
synergetics, or metaphysical gravity as Bucky would call their application.
I have practiced the fine art of cosmic fishing, and while
it comes at some cost, this practice has made me, I dare say, the performer of
the most amazing card trick you have ever seen in your entire life, and for
which I now see I was a bigger cosmic schmuck than I ever possibly imagined. My
cosmic schmuck principle holds that if you occasionally notice that you've been
thinking or acting like a cosmic schmuck, you will become less of a cosmic
schmuck, and the more often you notice that you're thinking and acting like a
cosmic schmuck, the less of a cosmic schmuck you become. On the other hand, if
you never, never, never suspect you might be thinking or acting like a cosmic
schmuck, you will remain a cosmic schmuck for the rest of your life.
