Sunday, September 6, 2009

a friend like me…

A friend like me is more than most can handle. I am a handful, a screamful and a mindful.

Occasionally, I am a delight.


A friend like me means you can be messy and I won’t run away.

I may have said I was done, and I didn’t go away. I hope you will look at my actions as much as you focus on the worst parts of me, like when I scream. I’m not proud of much of what I’ve done. I accept responsibility for my actions as best I know how. I have ample room to grow.

With a friend like me… You can be angry, you can be right and you won’t be alone.

When I scream, I am broken. I can’t promise to not be broken. Broken is broken. It aint pretty and it is still Ben. While a friend like me won’t always be calm, I can promise I want to be better. I am willing to listen to how wrong I was. I am supportive in my best moments. I hope to have more best moments and fewer awful moments.

Friends like me may grieve when we are embarrassed for our lack of balance. I am sorry.

I love you. You have taught me more about myself than anyone I know in my adult life. Parts of myself need nurturing, and parts of myself will be better left behind. And, each part of me is part of me, and I am learning to love myself.

You may have already decided we’re done, and I’ll respect your choice. And, I hope this decision is not written in indelible ink. You are beautiful, fiery and I believe in you.

I have been overwhelmed piecing together Good Energy Day. Many of the original supporters evaporated. I’m largely responsible for their choice to leave in some cases, and life simply happens in others.

No matter what, Wednesday will happen, 9/9/9 is happening whether the celebration is widely received or not, is merely happenstance. If this project doesn’t catch on, an idea better fit for a mass audience will emerge. God works like that.

You are a blessing in my life.

I love you.

I am sorry I screamed. That is not acceptable. That is not called for. You are absolutely right.


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