Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Anger Management AND where the wild things are...
i was Max.
Until I could read for myself, Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak was my favorite story in the entire world. However, most dolts couldn't read it to me right. I appeared to some babysitters as an angry child. The one's I got along with were the sitters who saw me as a wild thing, and had fun with me, and we got along famously.
I've spent most of my life angry. I've learned to forgive myself, I didn't know I was angry. Somewhere between striving to forgive others, I gave up the striving and eased into Jesus' words, "Forgive them for they know not what they do." A blessing of calmness came in an instant, because the transformation included self-acceptance. I stopped holding myself in contempt for not being however I was expecting myself to be.
Why I was angry is an unanswerable question, fraught with recursive paths of doubt and unsettling comparisons. I spent years working on my self in therapy of different kinds. I've only recently learned to laugh at how much money I spent working on my self and seeing it all as an investment. Much of the self-work was greatly beneficial, and much of it now appears to me as having been counterproductive and painful.
When I work with NLP clients with anger issues, the #1 question I hear is: "Why am I so angry?" Here's the deal, listing all the reasons why you are angry appears to me as a very poor strategy to making your anger go away. What I found was that learning to better express myself eased much tension physically, spiritually and psychically.
Three specific things helped me... 1) Richard Bandler's NLP workshop 2) Working with Barbara DeAngelis 3) Reading Anger and the Indigo Child by Dianne Lancaster.
To my eyes, Jesus gave us the key to forgiving anger. The key is to forgive them for they know not what they do. We find the key in ourselves because anybody who can remember a time when they were blinded by their emotions can feel.
Feelings, their not just for people just like us anymore.
What i love about WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE is that Max is forgiven, accepted and most importantly, he accepts himself.
You are perfect just as you are, and being perfect aint always comfortable, and that's okay. It's just more fun to have fun than to be angry these days. Looking at all the ways you have fun is a great way to evaporate anger.
So now, let me ask you a serious question... When was the last time you had amazing FUN and why did you have so much fun? CAREFUL thinking about this stuff may lead to happiness and pronoia ;-)