Tuesday, March 9, 2010

if i ran The Oscars...

Top 10 Things I'd do if i ran The Oscars

1) Only category professionals would vote for that category.

e.g., editors would vote on best editing, costume folks would vote on costuming, male actors would voter for best actor awards, etc.

2) anybody disparaging consumer research would prompt immediate music and cut to commercial

3) the rumor would not have spread that they weren't allowed to say "jesus" and if the rumor had said i would have inspired at least one recipient to thank jesus

4) it would have been even shorter or a two day event, soiré

5) the link on the page would have said ABC.com to make my spnsor happier

6) there would never had been a script that had Kathryn Bigelow first introduced as an ex-wife unless i knew she was going to win

=> The first rule of propriety is to avoid the appearance of impropriety.
Dramatically, that energy FELT GREAT! She was wronged and vindicated in a singe evening. GREAT F*ckin' DRAMA! But dangerously unclassy unless you acted as if you knew she'd win. PLEASE NOTE: If I ran The Oscars I'd Know. If THEY did know, brilliant.

7) there would have been cooler commercials... i can explain how to get those

8) i would have attended

9) Ben wouldn't have done the fishing pole gag

10) Where The Wild Things Are would have won best picture

1 comment:

Ben Mack said...

Barnum’s Delightful Philosophy
“Childhood wonder is the first step in human wisdom. To best please a child is the highest triumph of philosophy.
“A happy child is most likely to make an honest man. To stimulate wholesome curiosity in the mind of a child is to plant golden seed.
“I would rather be called the children's friend, than the world's king. Amusement to children,
is like rain to flowers. He that makes useful knowledge
most attractive to the young, is the king of the sages.
“Childish laughter is the echo of heavenly music. The noblest art is that of making others happy. Wholesome recreation conquers evil thoughts. Innocent amusement transforms tears into rainbows. The author of harmless mirth is a public benefactor. “I say, as the poet said of its ballads… if I might provide the amusements of the nation, I would not care who made its laws.” ~P.T. Barnum